Friday, November 04, 2005

.battered.



So much for a brand new life. I mean, its a brand new life altogetha for me. But its for the worst! Not for the better. The whole situation is too overwhelming. I cannot even think bout how things are going to work out after this. Countless tears were shed, emotions were battered, affection is deprived. What next?
Today is the month of Syawal. The month where friends, family members alike, get togetha and seek forgiveness from their loved ones. Bury the hatchet, etc. I didnt get to do it this year. With my family dat is. There's only one word to describe them ryte now. Dysfunctional. The family is dysfunctional. Its not working anymore. First day of Aidilfitri, the mood at home is sombre & dull. The question is, 'what the hell m i doin at home on the first day of raya?'
It seems like everyone is battling their own emotions. A million and one things are probably running through their mind. Including mine. But instead of talking it out, everyone is just keeping to themselves. Ive cried a million tears over this. And still am crying. I've never tot that i'd nva enjoy hari raya celebrations. Its so gloomy. Did somebody died?
Well, the atmosphere just felt like it. I don't even know how to anticipate the coming events to come. It's not the same anymore. And it probably will never be.
Where is 'He' when i needed him the most?
Where is my 'He' - my shoulder to cry on? my pillar of strength? my confidante? the one dat i love most? the one that loves me?
The one that is gonna be there for me especially when i am going through the toughest times. Im drowning in my sorrow. Can sumbody save me? Anybody at all?

p/s- Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all those whom i know. Maaf Zahir Dan Batin. Let us bury the hatchet and start everything anew. May Allah bless us and forgive our sins. Amin.


@ 7:05 AM