<[[~ dyna's bloggie ~]]>

My happy NEVER ending

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Dear Bf,

Thank you for loving me.
My days in the hospital made me realise how much u love and care for me and that you would do anything for me.
You were there every single day, looking after me.
You were there still even when i had that horrible looking wound.
You were there still even when i wasnt looking my best.
Meaning no make-up. Geeky in specsy.
You still stayed even when i was told i had a disease.
I promise i will treasure you just like how u would treasure me.

Thank you, darling bf for bringing the smile back to my face.

Im forever yours,
Gf.

@ 1:59 PM

A new lease of life.

A very good Wednesday Morning to readers.
Its 7.33 in the morning and i am very wide awake.

Ive been missing in action for the past one week or so and im very sure you guys are wondering why.

Well, just yesterday, i was discharged from the hospital.

Shocking huh.

Just a week ago, i was saying that i hafta go for checkup, hole in my pocket and now ive spent another 8 days in the hospital, the bill amounting to..... *sigh*

A good thing there's insurance and medisave. =)

Every other day, when im in the hospital, i'd always wake up around this time coz the nurses will give me my medication and i'd shower first (and the 10-13 doctors will come, always while im in the shower), took my med and have my brekkie. Its been like a routine every single day since last week.

The amount of pills amounting to 10 dat i have to swallow every morning.
YUCKS.

So, now that im comfortably home, im getting used to the routine. And mum wants me to take my med every morning so i hafta get up early, which im fine with.

Enough blabbering, i wanna show some pictures from the time i went for my appointment till the time i was discharged. It's like a story altogether la. Hehe.

In the car otw to fetch Mama and then off to TTSH for my check up.

Ok, i noe that its a picture of my neck but im sure you wanna take a look at the lump ryte? See that bump on the right side of the picture?
Looks harmless but its damn bladdy painful ok.

All dressed up for check up, you think?
Hurhur.
I went to work early dat morning so that's my outfit for the day.
Not so dressy as what people says, thats what i thought.

Now this is me, after i finished crying. Heh. This shot which i purposely took was after the doctors (meaning more than one), started touching and pressing the lump, after one of the doctors put a scope into my nose (which i cried again) and after one of the doctors injected 3 tubes of pus from my neck (which i bawled and sobbed loudly till the next patient was afraid to go for her appointment).

Which got my mum realising that I CANNOT STAND PAIN AND THAT IM VERY VERY MANJA.

Which of course i am.

And then i was admitted.
2 days after i was admitted, this is what i got.

I cringe everytime i look at this.
I thought its the most horrible thing on earth.
I dont even know whats the outcome of my neck till bf took this shot for me to see.

Days later...

The drainage is gone.
Felt a lil burden off my shoulders.
Im able to go downstairs for a walk and all.

And days days later...

Stitch is off.
It doesnt look so bad now.
But the cut is way longer than that in real life.

My 8 days in the hospital is full of ups and downs.
The first few nights, i cried myself to sleep.
I dont know why i did.
Maybe its coz its my first time being admitted and i was scared.
The drip is damn bladdy painful till my left hand was swollen.
I felt so so alone..?
I have no idea but emotions got the better of me.
I cry every single time.

Before each antibiotic dose, where the inject me through the IV.
Before every scan.

There was this one time, after the operation, it was 3 in the morning, i woke up feeling really really cold and my neck was really really painful.
I started crying, sobbing and all.
I pressed the call bell and the nurse rushed in.

I think i managed to just whisper out the word, 'Pain' while crying.
They gave me painkillers and i drifted off to sleep.

It was terrible.

And it just didnt end there.

I was very very depressed when i was told that they found TB in the cells of the lymph nodes.

TB is infectious mind you and if i had TB, it would mean that i have to stop going to work and that all the people i contact with me will have to be screened and quarantined.
My kids as well!

The last few days was a downer. I kept crying and crying.

What if i had TB?
What will i do if i cant go to work?
What if im infectious?

Those questions kept ringing into my ears.

I remember crying and BF was looking at me, his eyes so full of worry and concern.
It just touches me how he could down down to the hospital everyday since i was admitted to keep me accompany.

Thank you love!~

I took more tests 3 days before i was discharged.
Those tests were to ensure that i wasnt infectious.

The first results came and it was negative so i had to wait a while more for the second results.
Tuesday came and as usual after brekkie, i'd be napping after playing PSP.
So there i was sleeping when i felt someone touching my arm.

"Diyana, the test results is out. You can go back. Its negative." the doctor said.

I quickly sat up.
I was just so happy to be cleared of being infectious and that i was allowed to go home.

Called Mum, Bf, Ija, Saddiq and texted a few others to tell them i was discharged.

It really felt like i was given a brand new lease of life.
It was just so exhilarating.
I was so excited to be going back home that by 11 that morning, i have changed out of the hospital clothes. (i was discharged at 1-ish mind you)

WHen i reached back home, my grandparents greeted me at the door. Nenek kissed both my cheeks. They were both looking at my wound.

Since Bf was around, i called Pizza Delivery as i was craving for pizza. Bought alot as my BFFs (Inda and Ween) are coming round to visit me at home as well.
My first Monday night at home was well spent.
With Bf always by my side.
My BFFs who never fail to cheer me up.
And who could forget my very best friend who is giving birth anytime soon.
She wasnt there but she will text or call me to ask for my well being.
She wanted to come visit but i forbid it coz i have an infection and she is preggie.

I love you guys can!~

Thank you for the basket of fruits and flowers.
Thank you for the well wishes.
Thank you to those who came and visit.
Thank you to those who call or text to ask for my well being.
Thank you Dr Lee Boon Yang! (Big boss lei, must mention his name. hehe)
Thank you Mama for coming every single day, forsaking your work, for me.
Thank you Dan for sending Mama to visit me.
Thank you Bf for always being there for me no matter what.

Take my hand and lets walk the journey of life, together.

P/s- My principal diagnosis is Tuberculous Lymphadenitis.
I do have TB BUT i am NOT INFECTIOUS.
Am currently on medication for the next 2 weeks before my follow up appointment on the 1st of September.

P/p/s - I will be on hospitalisation leave till 9 of September.
A month of not going back to work.
Its only the 2nd week but...
I miss my kiddies already ok.

P/p/p/s - My wound still hurts. Cant move around that much. But im sure it will get better. Insyallah.

P/p/p/p/s - Can i just say, i purposely dont wanna post pictures of Bf.
A lil mystery never hurts.
Hurhur.

Update: I changed the dates.
The days when im not at work or having been cooped in the hospital, i have lost track of days and dates. I was actually discharged on Tuesday.

@ 9:09 AM

It's a Sunday

It's a sunday yall.

I used to love the weekend soo much.

The only time i get to let loose and meet my closest and dearest friends.

Read the second line - I used....

Ok, so, i still loved weekends but at this point of time, my body doesnt seem to have anymore energy left to have fun.

This weekend, im still battling on and off fever. Heck, the whole week, i endured school just so i dont take anymore medical leave.

People were like, 'Tak baik2 lagi?"

And im like, "I have lymphadenites. Unless this lump is gone, i will still get the fever."

Yes, i am a bit pissed when they gave me that question.

Why?

Because from the way they asked me, its like i purposely dont want myself to get well.

They dont have any idea whatever pain im going through. I feel shitty. I dont have a life anymore. I cant tutor anymore because of the intermittent fever. I keep having dizzy spells. My muscle aches alot. The feeling is damn horrible.

And best of all, the money that i spent on visiting doctors!

Its really burning a hole in my pocket.

Let's see, ive been to Raffles Hospital, Singapore General Hospital, Changi General Hospital and finally Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

And let me tell you guys something, i really dont enjoy those time and money spent there. Not one bit.

And come monday, the pocket will be burnt again. *sigh*
Im seriously at my wits end here people, so please, please, please dont make it sound like i dont wanna get well.

The angst aside, last friday, i met up with yana. My gf of over a decade. We go a long way back since primary school.
I was craving for roti john from simpang so i dragged her along to satisfy my craving.

Our meals..

my roti john.
super sedaaaaap.

yana's nasi goreng kampung.

our shared satay...

my dinner date.

i looked super chubby can?

We called it a nite after ice creams at MacDonalds.

Yes babe, i will take care of my health. And yes, insyallah, hopefully, next Saturday goes as planned.

Oh, a shoutout to a dear friend who turned 23 today.

Happy 23rd Nipz!

Oh and a gf who will turn 26 tomorrow.

Happy 26th Eila!

May the both of you be blessed with happiness always.

Digressing.

Did you notice that ive changed the picture at my blog?
Credits to Reen for being my photographer that day. =)
Ok, so the last picture, i looked so geeky. Oh well, everyone has a geeky side dont they?

SO DO I.

@ 1:22 PM

All that i wanted..

@ 8:32 PM

the 3rd one

I am SELFISH.

I know i am selfish.

Ive always wanted to be pampered especially when im sick but i just dont know how to spell it out to the other party.

Do you even care that ive not eaten?

Do you know what i really want you to do?

Like i said, i just dont know how to SPELL IT OUT.

It will make me feel like a doofus.

I am selfish.
I am selfish.
I am Selfish. With a capital S.

This is the third one for the day.
This is the last one to last me a whole week. Or maybe two.

@ 6:37 PM

Lymphadenitis

The doctor diagnosed me with lymphadenitis.

I have no idea what he said but all i understand from yesterday was that i have an inflammation of lymph.

I googled. And this is what i found out.

Definition

Lymphadenitis is the inflammation of lymph nodes. It is often a complication of bacterial infections, although it can also be caused by viruses or other disease agents. Lymphadenitis may be either generalized, involving a number of lymph nodes, or limited to a few nodes in the area of a localized infection. Lymphadenitis is sometimes accompanied by lymphangitis, which is the inflammation of the lymphatic vessels that connect the lymph nodes.

Description

The lymphatic system is a network of vessels (channels), nodes (glands), and organs. It is part of the immune system, which protects against and fights infections, inflammation, and cancers. The lymphatic system also participates in the transport of fluids, fats, proteins, and other substances throughout the body. The lymph nodes are small structures that filter the lymph fluid and contain many white blood cells to fight infections. Lymphadenitis is marked by swollen lymph nodes that develop when the glands are overwhelmed by bacteria, virus, fungi, or other organisms. The nodes may be tender and hard or soft and "rubbery" if an abscess has formed. The skin over an inflamed node may be red and hot. The location of the affected nodes is usually associated with the site of an underlying infection, inflammation, or tumor. In most cases, the infectious organisms are Streptococci or Staphylococci. If the lymphatic vessels are also infected, in a condition referred to as lymphangitis, there will be red streaks extending from the wound in the direction of the lymph nodes, throbbing pain, and high fever and/or chills. The child will generally feel ill, with loss of appetite, headache, and muscle aches.
The extensive network of lymphatic vessels throughout the body and their relation to the lymph nodes helps to explain why bacterial infection of the nodes can spread rapidly to or from other parts of the body. Lymphadenitis in children often occurs in the neck area because these lymph nodes are close to the ears and throat, which are frequent locations of bacterial infections in children.
Lymphadenitis is also referred to as lymph node infection, lymph gland infection, or localized lymphadenopathy.

Ok, that part above seems lengthy and boring.
To sum it up, i have bacteria infection acting up in the lymph glands area.
Causing me to have fever, loss of appetite, headache and muscle aches.
You have no idea how many times ive put salon pas all over my body!

To read more, Click Here

@ 4:00 PM

Tuesday Morning

I was up early on a Tuesday Morning. 6.48am to be exact.
Still awake.
Though, the eyes are are gonna close anytime soon.

Im currently under medical leave.
Again.

I noe, i noe.

Health's been super bitchy.

My colleague, a former resident of my current classroom says its the fengshui of the class.
Which got me pondering.
Hey, it could be, might be true.

I spent the whole of last week battling a on and off fever.
I was sick but i endured the whole of last week to make it to school.
I cant believe i thought of work rather than myself.

So the fact is, national day weekend saw me getting really really high fever.
And i was always complaining about the growth in my neck.
It was really painful.
It hurts when i drink.
Hurts when i swallow.
Hurts when i laugh.
Hurts when i talk.
Hurts when i cough.
Hurts even more when someone touches it.

People around me kept telling me not to complain so much and pretend to ignore that thing growing in me.
But how could i?
It was damn painful ok.

So, anyways, the fever was getting higher and the lump was getting bigger. The left side of my neck was very very swollen.
Mum got all panicky.
She sent me straight to TTSH.

And what did i get?

6 hours of drip.

The doc pricking the needle in.
Super painful can.

The 2 packets of drip.
6 bladdy long hours.
So the reason why they put me on drip is to bring down my temperature.
It was that high.

6 hrs with nothing to do.
Snap snap.And to think my mum asked me to sleep but i just couldnt.
With the bright lights and the bustling of doctors and nurses.
And an incident which im gona explain in a while.

Something funny happened while i was at the observation place.
It wasnt really that funny but it seems like drama in the hospital seems rare nowadays and my neighbour made it worthwhile while i was there.

My 'neighbour', a girl. Ok no. Maybe a young lady. Say, around my age. She was screaming and crying and kicking when the doctors wanted to take her blood.
Goodness.
I was so trying to control my laughter.
I'd be super embarrassed if i was her.

I can still remember her shouts, "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!"

Ohh, puhlease.
The reason why i cant sleep.

Anyhoos, doc took a series of tests on me too.

ECG, X-Ray, full blood count, urea, Pregnancy test (like wth) and many many others.
All normal.

I was discharged from TTSH at 2200hrs with a goodie bag.

I normally love goodie bag but dis one is a big NO-NO.

Loads and loads of pills to pop.
Painkillers and panadols aside, im just popping in the antibiotics.
And maybe take a sip of the cough syrup.

Update: Do you know that this entry was done this morning but ive been having difficulty posting it up cause there seems to be a network crisis
Im finally posting it up.

I JUST woke up btw. =)
The medication is bad. Tsk tsk.
How am i going to make it back to work tomoro?
Oh btw, ive finally privatised my photos in multiply.
Meaning only my contacts are able to view my pictures.
The rest of you... Awwww too bad.
Maybe, YOU can set up an account and add me as a contact and then i'll consider whether i wanna accept you or not.

I AM NOT gonna retaliate cause its a freaking waste of time.
EVERYONE knows that. =)

Ok those are totally irrelevant ramblings of someone who just woke up.
Dont mind me.

Oh and THANKS to my twin sister for buying HOTCAKES for me this morning.
Breakfast in bed super awesome can?

@ 10:00 AM

Birthday greetings

Ive known her for over a decade.
My gf in WSS.
She may be small in size but please dont underestimate her.
Very fierce hokay.

Dearest Lizawati,

Happy 23rd birthday, love.

Oh, its Adrian's birthday too.

Shoutout to him, Happy birthday Adrian.

I know we havent chatted in a while. I hope you're doing fine and i hope you'll get to see this.

For all who didnt know, i got to know Adrian from Tagged. He is one of my pals all the way from Sydney, Australia.

He is also one of the readers who read my blog. =)

All the best in your future endeavours, Adrian.

And good luck for exams next week!

@ 9:27 PM

Happy Healing

Im glad its only 4 and a half days of working next week.

A totally unrelated introduction to the entry, i know.

Well, anyways, last friday, me, HIM and darling ana head over to Sengkang to visit a dearest friend of ours.

She was diagnosed with Lupus.
So she is currently under steroids which increases her weight.
She hated the way she looked but hun, i think u looked fab.

U looked cute and so much better la dear!~

Pictures time.

The sunflower to brighten up your day.
The cookie which is a bit wrong la.
Me and Ana love you more than that much.
Hehehe.

Good times.
Fun times.

The miss universe, that she is.
She claimed, miss universe tembam!
=p

Dearest Nadya,

My thoughts and prayers are with you..
I love you.
And....

@ 12:41 PM

Long overdue.

A proper entry with a shitload of photos perhaps?

Yup, i admit.
I havent been updating religiously like before but then again, health's been a bitch.

Ive been kept busy with work.
Tutoring.
Love..?

Haha. No elaborations on that one just yet.
Time will only tell.
But lets just say, the emotions of wind has taken US higher. =)

Lets keep that aside for now yea.

I have a whole lot of other things to blog about.

It all started about 2 weeks ago.

I hated, and i mean, really hated my hair.

I was out with Inda 2 weeks ago on a friday nite.

Coincidentally both dressed in all black.
Black tee.
Black jeans.

Loved the fact that my earrings matches my princessy tee. =)

(I hate my hair btw, thats why i had to tie it up).

We were chilling infront of Taka.
I can still remember the cute guy working in that boutique.
Cant remember what boutique though.

Anyhoos, there were we chilling and just chatting when a foreigner came up to us and asked, "Hi are you girls done with ur job?"

We were taken aback of course so we slightly ignored him.

He was like, "Oh you girls looked unfriendly."

And i replied, "Sorry, im married."

Inda nearly burst out laughing.
Luckily she did not or our cover will be blown.

So anyways, that guy replied, "Oh its alright. Im married too."

Ladies and gentleman, THAT is so a jerk.

He turned to Inda and asked if she was married.
Inda said that she was engaged.

Funny la these people.

SO, i did say i hated my hair ryte.
For all who didnt know, i went for hair rehab and i now look like this.

Flat hair yall.
For the first time in my almost 23 years of life.

Thats me at Simpang Bedok having dinner with Mama, Bro and Kak Noi.

Next day, it was Racial Harmony Day.
Being the ever so ON me, i headed to work clad in a pinky baju kurung.

Pretty in pink, no?

My kiddies looked oh so cute in their costumes.

Adorable arent they?
They posed like crazy when they had to do the catwalk.
I cant help but laugh at their antics.
Then again, they can get on your nerves sometimes.

Madness going on behind me.

My favorite's twin sister clad in an indian costume.
Her twin brother dont wanna take picture with me. Ish.
Anyhoos, this girl n myself will always do the nose kiss together. Cuteness!

With notti boy.
I liked to bully him when he comes to my class to get the remote control from me.
I'd demand a kiss and he would run out, terrified., back to Miss Irene's arms.
Hehehehehe.

Last Sunday, Woodsvillians got together to celebrate a special event.
A friend of ours graduated from NTU.
A reason to celebrate.
A reason to gather.

I soo looked like crap.
But i like this shot. Not of me of coz.

I was clad in a purple tee matched with my purple star. As usual.

Twin sister made it, finally.

with Inda Love.

BFF's.

I looked like im digging her nose. Khekhe.

A girl can dream ryte..?

The NTU graduate preparing the POSER.
This is sooo wrong.
Heh.

Me, Wan Black and Dida.
Suddenly everyone's saying me n dida looked alike.
Like duh, we're twins. Lol.

This looked really cool.

Ween and Nipz not in this shot.

Konon macho la si nipz ni. Haha.

Grrrls rule.
Boys..? Drool. =p

A proper Jenga session next time please.
Nipz and Inda's birthday gathering next!

Jenga and sheesha session.

Before we, the ggirls called it a night.

It took me forever to finish this entry.
Im damn tired lor.
Gonna head to the living room and chat with ija.

Digressing.
Darling Ana, upload pixies from yesterday quick.
Then i can blog.

Hehe.

Oh, before i forgot, 020808 is a very memorable day for me. =)

@ 5:45 PM