<[[~ dyna's bloggie ~]]>

.fetish.

Bad news.

I have a thing for younger boys now.

Anyone believe me?

Well, if u do, then breathe a sigh of relief. I'm just messing around.
Not really actually. I love Kevin, David and Will. Who are they? Well, they are the contestants of the very popular show, American Idol. These boys are the young ones who made it through the next round. And though they don't really have the best voice out of all contestants, they are just super adorable. I am sure you guys know me. I am so superficial. Looks does matter.

Now, i would like to introduce the three boys that i love. =p

Introducing.....

David Radford. The third youngest boy in American Idol. David is only 17 years old. He is one of the most unique seventeen year old singer i've ever seen. I think he could jolly well be the seventeen year old's version of Michael Buble. He croons to A Crazy Thing Called Love during the guy's performance the other day. And he looks super adorable with his yummylicious dimple and handsome looks. *drools*

Will Makar. He's only 16. Blessed with cute boyish looks and i love his curly hair. Not only that, he can sing! Though his voice is not that good, he's so cute! It wouldn't kill for him to stay on longer. Very sure lots of American tennage girls would vote for him. I know i will. Only if i lived in America. Heh. I don't think he would win though. Besides, he is only 16, he still has a long way to go.

Kevin Covais.
The youngest contestant this year at the American Idol. He's so cute. The nerdy2 cute kind. That's what i like about him. Despite being the youngest, he is full of confidence and poise. Very mentel also. Heh. He sang to One Last Cry by Brian McKnight who happens to be his very male artist. Guess what, when he sang that song, i cried. I don't know why. But i did. I think i know why. I must be thinking of old memories. As much as i don't want to think of the past and just throw them away, i have to face the fact that it will always be a part of my life. No matter how much i don't want it to be. Gosh, look how much i have side trackked.
So anyway, since he sang that song, i have started to like him. Heh.

I got the feeling that the guys will outrun the girls this year. Here are the older guys that i have taken to fancy.

Ace Young. A 25 year old from Denver. His looks are to die for. I could just stare at him. And his voice is WOW. I remember at the end of his song, he stared at the camera and i was already melting. *winks*
And i agree with Simon, he will definitely sail through this competition. Provided he doesn't screw up.

And finally, Elliott Yamin. He is like the bad boy of the competition. But still, i think he has the nicest voice of all. He just serenades me.

The only female contestant that i supported is....

Lisa Tucker. Another young contestant with a very huge talent. I prefer her than Paris. Paris is just so OVER. Heh. Lisa on the other hand is more humble, prettier, even.

I am such a fanatic of that show that even though i have class in the evening, i would rush back home and watch the repeat telecast on cable!
Let's hope my favorite will stay all the way!

Digressing.

Yesterday's setting up of corner and presentation went smoothly. Apart from one mistake from one of my members, i think we did pretty well. Hurray! Here's some pixs, for viewing.

My efficient group members.

Our science corner. Magnet Magic.

Presentation time.....

While the rest are doing their presentation, we indulged ourselves in a photo taking session. Heh.

Okay, i think i have had enough of sitting infront of the comp. Im starving. Going to get something to eat now. Till i blog again.

@ 12:20 PM

.bck.

I just got back from lunch wif darling yaya. It seems like ages since i met her. Good thing she's working near my crib, the only opportunity for us to meet up. With the exception of chatting at msn dat is. We catched up on our life a lot.

Me & bestie have been very busy sending out resumes and going for interviews. We both desperately need a job. Yesterday, i sent out my resume to about 5 centres who are in need of a teacher. The first call that i had from one of the centre was from my former company. I was told to go for the interview today, which is this morning.
My beauty sleep was put on hold as i had to wake up at 7 am just to go for that interview. Felt so nervous yet excited to go for my first formal interview.

I have been to a job interview before but it was so darn informal. So just now was the first. I couldnt sleep last night. Kept tossing and turning. Felt the jitters i guess. It didnt help that i received msges early in the morning that disturbed my sleep. *sigh*

So the interview was fine. They said they will give me a call if im shortlisted. Just to be on the safe side, i got myself another interview this Monday at Fengshan branch. But, stupid me, i forgot to ask where exactly. Looks like i have to give them a call later.

For now, im sleepy. I want to catch on some sleep. I don't want to be tired for tonight's class and presentation.

So, till i blog again.

p/s- If you have noticed, there is no short form words anymore. Since, i am going to start work soon (hopefully), i have to brush up on my language. Wouldn't want the children to pick up these kind of short form words, would i?

@ 5:30 AM

hi5.

I received a message from sumone in Hi5 just now. It was a bit scary to receive dat kind of msg. Oh, btw, u do noe what Hi5 is about ryte? Basically its the same as Friendster. You get to meet or make new people. Ugly, Good looking, Nice, Perverted, Friendly, Gay and such. Back to what i was saying. i received a msg from sumone from hi5. All the way from Pakistan. Here' how it goes. Btw, names have been changed to protect the identity of the person.

From: XXX
To: Dee
Date: 2-21-2006 12:45 PM
Subject :hi Dee be mine plz
Message :Dear and sweet friend hope u fine and will b enjoying the best of ur life.I m XXX age 22 from pakistan as u see in my profile of Hi5.i see ur pictures in hi5 thats are so nice and u r very very nice,cute and preety.so i m sending a measseg and i hope u will reply me as soon as possible and u will never break my heart.i like and i love with new people and i need a best friend from any where and when i got a friend may be U then i will come just for U.... by by Allah hafiz XXX.

Did i reply?

Of coz i did. Here's what i said.

From :Dee
To : XXX
Date :2-22-2006 8:39 PM
Subject : RE:hi Dee be mine plz
Message: The main purpose of me being in HI5 is to make more frens and aquantaince only. Not more than that. Btw, dude, you freak me out man!

Too harsh? No, i dun think so. Look at the spelling and grammar of that message. Its super atrocious! And did you notice the subject?
'hi Dee be mine plz'?
Like WTF. Why should i be his? He is super lame i tell you. Im wondering if he is going to reply to dat msg of mine. Since his heart is not broken or anything since i replied.
Hmmm. Stay tuned.

@ 8:20 AM

.specs.

Liverpool lost to Benfica in the first leg of the Champions League earlier this morning. They lost 1-0. So, my Liverpool have to make one of the memorable comebacks that they usually do in CL.

Did i watch? No. Heh.
My alarm went but i switched it off soon after, snuggled with my bolster and fell into a deep sleep. Boy, i must be so damn tired. U bet. I had a very long day yesterday.

Woke up to Mama's screams of asking me and Dida to wake up.
"Its a Tuesday." I mumbled, wondering to myself what on earth Mama is doing at home. "Isnt she supposed to be working?"

Apparently not. She took leave from work to send Dad to the airport. Dad is having an AFC seminar in KL. Guess who had to drag along wif her? Me. Mama dragged me along coz she doesnt want to go home alone. So i went. Wore a white shirt, white tudung, jeans, heels (yups, heels, ape angin ntah) and my specsy.

Newsflash.

I wont be wearing my lenses anymore. Not for the time being. See, my lenses have already expired. And for now, im supa dupa terrified of the whole saga with the solutions thingy that is going around. What makes it even more terrifying is that im an avid user of the Bausch & Lomb ReNu with MoistureLoc multi-purpose solution. And, those people who have this bacterial infection in their eye, all except one uses this brand. And some even had cornea implantation. Meaning other people's eyes, dead people's eyes implanted as their own. Scary isnt it.? Brrrr.. So, for the time being, i wont be using lenses anymore. Im back to specsy, nerdy me. And guess what? I bought a brand new specsy. Yeh yeh! Its pretty. Its light purple in color. And its the nerdy2 kind but chic. And its darnm expensive due to the degree increment in my eye. My pocket is lighter now. Hmm. I duno how to describe it anymore. Maybe after i get my specsy this sunday, i'll take lotsa pictures of it and post it here k. Promise. *winks*

Ive typed before that i wore heels yesterday. And i was starting to regret it when i reached the airport. After sending Dad off, we headed to Toa Payoh, the place where i always make my glasses or lenses. Mama is so very the leceh. She insisted on taking a bus instead of the train. She said that in the bus can listen to the radio via her hp dat is. Tapi dgr2 kan, she didnt even listen to it lah ok. I so cannot tahan. The journey from airport to bishan and then to Toa Payoh is so bladdy long. Might as well take the train ryte? But Mama, knowing Mama, so very the stubborn, insisted on the bus ride. Thank god for my mp3 that makes my journey less saddening and boring. She lost her ezlink card btw. So i had to pay for her bus ride since she didnt have small change on her. What makes it more infuriating is that she blamed me for not completing my driving! Can u believe it? She said that we wouldnt be in this situation if i had completed my license. She blamed me! Gosh. I ticked her off. I mean, hello, its totally like her losing her ezlink card out of her clumsiness and nothing to do wif my driving. Binget je.

Funny how u can tick ur own mother off ryte? I may be known as patient and the girl who always give in and such but there's a limit to one's patience and her comment blew it. Im not always like dat. It could be due to my crankiness and my blistered feet from wearing heels and walking around Toa Payoh. I think.

I dont think i will be online til the time that i nid to go to school today. I have yet to do my rules and regulation for my activity for today's discussion. Dang. Was supposedly supposed to do it yesterday since i thought im staying in but since i had to go to the airport and all, i had to do a raincheck. And the raincheck is today. My members wanted to have everything done today and i have yet to complete it.

I think i have enough of ranting. Im gona take a bathe and then start on my rules. If im really focused, i could finish it in less than an hour, but my mind is somehow in a haywire mode. Arrrggghhhh. That's it. I'll stop here.

Im out.

@ 4:25 AM

.me.

I want to know what you people out der think of me so.....CLICK

.:.HERE.:.

@ 7:50 AM

.hiatus.

After only two days of being hiatus, i have pple asking me when will i continue blogging again. Didnt know that pple actually read my blog. I feel so famous ordy. Hehe. Besides, i have 3 others wanting to use the computer. And since i get to use it every day of the week from mon to fri, i figured, why not give it a miss and let my other siblings have a turn. Im so thoughtful. *rolls my eyes*

I started today's entry with a smile on my face, but it is only the second para and im already feeling so shitty. Damn bladdy shitty. Nonetherless, i'll still continue even though i noe that the mind isnt functioning as well as it used to be before i started. *blank look on my face*

I wanna share sumting that i felt should be shared. I was alighting the train one day and i was so pissed that the oncoming patrons didnt allow those alighting to get off first before they entered. Bladdy hell. I was on the phone at that point of time. And i was roughly pushed. What is happening to singaporeans nowadays? Have they forgotten about the courtesy campaign? People ignored the signs and announcements of allowing passengers to alight first just coz they wanted to enter fatser so that they have a seat. Like WTF. Thats so rude. And i hate those kind of people. Are they that illiterate that they cant read the signs or for cases of announcements, are they deaf?

"Please allow passengers to alight before entering..."

Well, sumting like dat. since people are ignoring those announcements. They should be taught, ryte.But at that point of time, i dont noe how to teach them a lesson. I was very pissed at that point of time coz two middle aged woman was pushing their way in and i was trying to alight. My only reflex action at that point of time was put my both hands up and shove my way through them while saying, 'AIYO, no courtesy ah'.

Yup.I did that. Boy, i felt better after doing that. Of coz, i get stares and those aunties was feeling bladdy embarassed but those who was behind me to alight was giving me envious smiles as if to say, 'Way to go girl'.
I felt better after that. And i wouldnt stop here. If people still continue to shove their way in w/o letting passengers alight first, i wouldnt refrain myself from doing it again. Those people deserves it!

On a different matter altogether, i started putting on make-up. Yeh yeh! So happy. It was last friday. And i was getting ready to go to school. I couldnt stand the thought of going to skul w/o make-up. Again. So i applied powder and boy did i look good! Heh. Self praise is no praise but international disgrace? No? Nah, it just makes my self confidence boosts higher. So my face was made up prettily and off i went to school.
Shucks. My infant and toddler care lecturer is sure to recognize me now. See, im always the low profile student. Never answer questions unnecessarily. Never make yourself known to lecturers. Life as a student is better that way. But last friday, not only did i answer lotsa questions that the lecturer brought up, the lecturer even asked me to continue eating my ice cream. Gosh. I felt so embarassed.

See, before class starts, i was at the 7-11 store at level one of the school building. Wanted to buy something to munch den my eyes spotted ice cream. Its been a while since i ate ice cream so i bought a cone. Was supposed to share it wif ija but she took a nibble out of it and asked me to finish it up myself. So bad! And im known for eating so slow. So lecture started with me still holding on to my ice cream wif my left hand and my pen on the other, busy jotting down important notes. Then came a time where the lecturer was saying sumtin and i just stared at her, digesting what she just said. Then she turned to me and said, "Eh you never eat ur ice cream. Wait it will melt."

I looked down and blushed furiously. The rest of the class was already laughing. Ija, who was sitting next to me giggled at my antic. Chuber eh. Malu tau! Eventually, i finished my ice cream but my ego was a little bruised. Class had never been better. Last friday especially. I feel like i have bonded very well with my classmates. The one that im closest to, dat is. I laughed so much that day that my stomach hurt.Even while doing the debate discussion, we even side trackked about getting married and ended up singing the "Oh mama, saya mahu kawin. Kawin dgn sape, dgn sape sahaja."

Lepak sak.

Ive gotten close to someone whom i wished didnt contact me anymore but.. See, last saturday, 85 years later, Liverpool finally beat their arch rivals, Man Utd in the FA cup fifth round. Despite only a 1-0 win, i couldnt stop my itching fingers from sms-ing my very own arch rival aka my past addiction. He is like supa bad. Before the match itself, he was already taunting me bout the team that i supported so i sms-ed him dis.

'Im not trying to rub salt into the wound or anything but i think my Liverpool just beat ur beloved Man Utd'.

I felt satisfied after doing that actually coz he was like trying to change the topic and all. Haha.I have gone through a lot wif him and life experiences taught me alot. I spoke (well chatted actually) with a couple of my closest friends and both gave me mixed responses to how i should be handling things. And so far now, not only am i turmoiled with confusion, i dun even know what im feeling anymore. Gosh, i feel a tear brimming.
*sigh*

Mama coaxed me into watching soccer yesterday at Jln Besar stadium. I declined actually but changed my mind soon after coz its been a while since i watched soccer. It was the Young lions vs some team from Malaysia for the Malaysia FA cup. Mus played btw so i just felt like watching for the sake of watching. The carpeted field was beautiful. I think its the first ever nicest field to play on in Singapore. Not only that, when u look at the field u will feel like you wanna roll around on it. Im exaggerating actually but its true.

The bladdy speakers are not functioning properly. Although sounds can be heard, its so bladdy soft although i had it on full blast. Which only means to say that the speaker is dying. So, Dad, we need new speakers for the computer!!! Its so darn boring w/o music.

I finally typed out what i needed to type. It seems like it took me forever especially since there are so many distractions around. Mane nak chat, mana nak tgk video. Hee. *winks to efni*
I hereby recommend that people should chck out her blog. Not only is her entries fascinating and interesting, but there are even videos. Videos of Shahirah. Extreme cuteness i tell you. Chck it out.

Im off to cook. Im starving.

@ 6:25 AM

.natural.

Gosh, the sun burns on the skin is so getting to me. Not only do i get any darker den my usual self, my skin is peeling like a snake. Dearest rustiboi was an angel. Never failing to make me feel better. *smiles*
Lets not side track. For the first time in how many years, i went to school without make-up. Yes, me without make-up. Can u imagine dat? Gosh. I looked so fugly. And i said fugly coz i look terrible.

F#@king ugly.

I really felt as if sumting was wrong wif me. Everything looks so wrong. I even felt naked w/o make up. I duno whether its just me but i keep getting stares on my way to school yesterday. The paranoia is settling in.
Screw dos guys who says dat they like girls w/o make-up. They say its natural beauty. That thought disgusts me. I would like to declare that i DO NOT HAVE NATURAL BEAUTY. I am not one of those girls who are blessed with natural beauty. Who goes out w/o make up on. That is so not me. I admit, i look much and i mean much much better with make -up. And yesterday was horrible. Going to school w/o make up was downright terrible. For me dat is.

Take a look below of a with and w/o make up shot.

Of course the one of the left is without make up and the one on your right is with make up. So which is better? I seriously think i look better with make up. Though it doesnt look dat bad w/o. But still, im getting darker now so it was like a living nightmare for yesterday. And wearing white didnt help. Stoopid me! My dark face will definitely stands out. But i didnt think of that, did i?

Apparently not. I still went to school wearing white. Goodness gracious!
Suddenly it occur to me that ranting wont make the anger fade away. I just have to be patient. My skin will peel of to be much softer and lighter. *winks to rustiboi*

So patience does it, i hope. And i am known for being patient so y cant i be patient now? Sheesh. Ok, patience dee. Patience.
I juz realise that there is 5, no make it 6 patience in one para. Hehe

Back to more serious topic.

I just hate it how guys could just behave the way they do. Just because they are the GUY the can do whatever they want.

Bull shit.

Ive had it with men and their ego. They keep saying that they are always right though its so damn bladdy clear that they are in the wrong. Men sumhow dont think of how their gfs would feel if they did something wrong. They dont think. They just dont. Goodness, GOD gave u guys brain to think ok. God. It irks me so much to know that such men existed. Then again, i dont think nice men existed. *frowns*

Pretty sure that para would coz a bit of a row btwn sex-es. But what the heck, im typing this one out based on what i see around in couples. Couples that are my friends. That i dont except the guy to behave that bladdy way. I swear if he did that kind of thing one more time, im gona ask her to break up wif him ryte der and den!

Ok, here's a scenario.

Girl and Boy get together. Girl and Boy loves each other. Girl befriended Boy's friend, Y. Boy didnt like it. But Girl says, "What, we're just friends wat." Which is true la. Boy stir up trouble by contacting otha girls. Boy wasnt happy that Girl is still befriending Y. But Girl regarded Y as her confidante cum counsellor. Girl initially wanted to introduce Y to her fren X. But it was more of saying rather then doing. X didnt mind actually. X observed sumting lately. X feels that Girl and Y could be in love with one another and that Girl should leave Boy for Y.

Can Girl leave Boy for Y?

Stay tuned.

@ 5:30 AM

aftermath.

Ladies and gentlemen, after the sentosa outing with HPC, i found myself getting darker, sunburnt, aching hands and face and nose and most importantly, i getting more and more attached to these lovely peeps.

Awwww.. So sweet.

These boisterous bunch of peeps are the people that i meet from the Net. Yes,the friendship that we have established grows stronger especially after every outing! Seriously people, who would have thought friendships from the Net could be this fun and everlasting. Hopefully, everlasting ah.
But it wasnt actually a bed of roses. We have already eliminated those backstabbing people who make our lives nytemare. Now, we are ever so contented wif the current members of HPC. I heard that there will be new recruits or some sort. Is it true, efny?

I digress.

Did you know that i like to observe people. Be it, family, relatives, friends enemies, etc.

I just found out sumting about my aunts. And now i realise how my sisters got our behavior. It is bladdy similar to my aunts behavior. Very odd. But then again, blood is thicker than water. So now, i noe y me & my sisters behave the way we do. *sigh*

So yesterday was V day. The day of love. ya da ya da ya da.
I found myself cuddling infront of the telly watching LOVE ACTUALLY on cable with my bolster and frozen yoghurt. I love that show. I remember watching it few years back with my ex bf and still my current friend, Yusof. Yes, my dear dear Yusof. We go a long way back actually. I could kicked myself for breaking up with him. But its in the past, so lets not rake it up, yea. When i watched dat show, i started feeling sorry for myself for the lack of love and attention im getting.
*double the sigh*

Dearest bestie told me to trust her and that love will come knocking on my door very soon. Well, hopefully.

Have any of you felt that you made a wrong choice and regret your decision now? Well, i do. I made a hell lot of wrong decisions in nearly 21 years of my life. The best part is, i kept choosing the wrong guy. And i only have myself to blame. I was browsing thru my old diary. 2 years ago, i let an 'angel' slip out off my hands and now he belongs to another. And, for god sake dee, i let another one slip just a year ago. So, one plus one = 2.

I let go of 2 guys who really wanna be with me for this guy who in the ends dumped me. Stoopid ryte. Very stoopid. But i always believe that everything happens for a reason. All this wrong guys will lead me to my future bf who is nuthing but perfect. Im so delusional. There is no such thing as perfect in the world. Ok, let me rephrase my sentence.

.......lead me to my future bf who is nuthing but perfect in my eyes.

Yup,perfect in my eyes. Not in ur eyes. But in mine.

I suddenly feel like im crapping. M i crapping?

No need to answer. I answer myself.

Yes, definitely dee. Ure definitely crapping. Considering that u answer ur own questions. *ahaks*

Seriously, now, i want to take one step at a time. As much as i crave and long for LOVE, im skeptic in putting myself in a relationship. Scared ah. You know what they say, once burnt, twice shy.

And now, my mind is blank. I duno wat else to type. So i think, im gona stop now and take a bathe. *blueek*
Its 1.30 pm btw.

@ 5:35 AM

valentine.

Conversation hearts, Red Hots, heart-shaped boxes of assorted chocolates and red roses fill the isles and TV sets to prepare us for the most commercially celebrated holiday in the world, Valentine’s Day.
It is a day that has evolved into making a spectacle of love and a fortune for all retailers. Jewelers, florists and Hallmark all benefit yearly from the hopeless romantics that rush out a week, or a day before Valentine’s Day to get their lover a gift.

The idea is both, nauseating and expensive. Why rush to get the one you love chocolates, flowers or diamonds to show how much you care,
when you should show your love every day? News flash people, love really doesn’t have to cost a thing.

I received an sms from a dearest fren telling me about the history of Valentine's Day and what it really mean to Muslims. For muslims, in my opinion, i dun see the need for us to follow western customs, but then again, even muslims are already following various western customs. Im not preaching here bcoz i am not fit to preach, but at the end of the day, its all up to one individuals on what they want to do at this so called 'the day of LOVE'

Putting aside all this preach thing, love is definitely in the air. Regardless whether you want to celebrate it or not. For my case, i have never celebrated Valentine's Day before. Bcoz, to me, if you love sumone, Valentine's day is everyday.

Love, we are repeatedly taught , concists of self sacrifice.Love based on self-interest, we are admonished, is cheap and sordid. True love, we are told, is altruistic. But is it? Imagine a Valentine's Day card which takes this premise seriously. Imagine receiving a card with the following message: "I get no pleasure from your existence. I obtain no personal enjoyment from the way you look, dress, move, act or think. Our relationship profits me not. You satisfy no sexual, emotional or intellectual needs of mine. You're a charity case, and I'm with you only out of pity. Love, XXX."

Needless to say, you would be indignant to learn that you are being "loved," not for anything positive you offer your lover, but--like any recipient of alms--for what you lack. Yet that is the perverse view of love entailed in the belief that it is self-sacrificial.Genuine love is the exact opposite. It is the most selfish experience possible, in the true sense of the term: it benefits your life in a way that involves no sacrifice of others to yourself or of yourself to others.To love a person is selfish because it means that you value that particular person, that he or she makes your life better, that he or she is an intense source of joy--to you. A "disinterested" love is a contradiction in terms. One cannot be neutral to that which one values. The time, effort and money you spend on behalf of someone you love are not sacrifices, but actions taken because his or her happiness is crucially important to your own. Such actions would constitute sacrifices only if they were done for a stranger--or for an enemy. Those who argue that love demands self-denial must hold the bizarre belief that it makes no personal difference whether your loved one is healthy or sick, feels pleasure or pain, is alive or dead.Love is far too precious to be offered indiscriminately. It is above all in the area of love that egalitarianism ought to be repudiated. Love represents an exalted exchange--a spiritual exchange--between two people, for the purpose of mutual benefit.You love someone because he or she is a value--a selfish value to you, as determined by your standards--just as you are a value to him or her.It is the view that you ought to be given love unconditionally--the view that you do not deserve it any more than some random bum, the view that it is not a response to anything particular in you, the view that it is causeless--which exemplifies the most ignoble conception of this sublime experience.The nature of love places certain demands on those who wish to enjoy it. You must regard yourself as worthy of being loved. Those who expect to be loved, not because they offer some positive value, but because they don't--i.e., those who demand love as altruistic duty--are parasites. Someone who says "Love me just because I need it" seeks an unearned spiritual value--in the same way that a thief seeks unearned wealth. To quote a famous line from The Fountainhead: "To say 'I love you,' one must know first how to say the 'I.

I digress.

Im in love. Dun get the wrong idea. Im in love with my family and my closest friends. Family means a lot to me although sumtimes i dun act to show that i love dem. Get it? No? Forget it, just move on.

I love my dad although he makes a lot of mistakes in the past that got the family on our toes. I dun have a close relationship with him and we only speak when neccesary. Despite that, i still love him.

I love Mama although she is unreasonable, selfish and always nagging. Come to tink of it, she is always the one who gets on my nerves all the time. But, i see things positively. Mama gave birth to me, Mama brought me up. Mama took care of me when i was sick. Mama massaged my forehead when i got a major headache. Although, she gets on my toes all the time, i still think of the little things that she did for me way before. I remember once Mama told me off for reading to much. See, i love to read. And she didnt like that. I was dismissing my chores for books. Heck, i even read while eating. Hey, i didnt get a B3 for nuthing for my Os in English, ok. I started getting my priorities ryte. I did my chores before i poke my nose into books. Mama started to understand how much i love books. She even bought books for me when we went holidaying. Back to what i was saying, i still love her all the same despite arguing with her sometimes. And you know what they all say, Syurga terletak di bawah kaki ibu.

I love my elder sister although she is selfish and domineering.

I love Dida although she is very lazy and immature.

I love my lil bro although he is such a jerk sumtimes. Heck, he just called me a bitch. Just. Why? Coz i finished up the ice cream. Hah. But i still love him though. He makes me laugh.

See, i cant possibly hate family members can i even though they step on my toes all the time. To get 6 people stay together, personalities are bound to clash.You just have to deal with it. Coz at the end of the day, they are family. Agree?

Two of my closest friends who see me as their younger sister was beaming like mothers whose child learns how to walk when i announced that im dating someone.

"Its about time." they say.

I guess. It took me almost a year to put my foot down and took a step forward. It was only yesterday when i came up with that decision. And i remained adamant with it.

So. with Valentine's Day going on in a full blast, i may be feeling the heat of love.

@ 9:30 AM

.sentosa.

This is probably gona be one supa very long entry. Well, maybe. See, im very very fickle. I can say one thing and do another. For now, since i say that its gona be long, hopefully, it will be long, but im not in the mood for supa long entry. Hmmm. Im goin around in circles. We shall c at the end of the entry whether it will be long or not k. *winks*

Pictures galore.

This is my newest hairdo. Peloz peloz gave me a new name. CleoDee. Like so cute like dat. ahacks.

Dat very day itself, the family went for dinner at Swensens to celebrate dad's bdae. I had chicken cutlet. It was so delicious.

Im enjoying every minute of my food.

The yummylicious side-dishes.

My dessert, hot fudge strawberry sundae.

As planned, the HPC went for an outing. Wer did we go?

Yup, we went to SENTOSA. Had supa dupa lotsa fun!

While waiting for the rest..

me & sri indulged ourselves in funny photo session.

Peloz peloz, cleoDee & funny sri in da bus on our way to sentosa..

If you are wondering wers da rest, well, they took Jay's car. So its juz 6 of us going public.

That's the beach that we went. Good choice.

My beloved HPC babes. Not all were present though. *sigh*

Did u noe that its supa hard being a celebrity. You get pple taking pictures of u all the time. Dun believe me? Scroll below.

I told you so. *winks*

They played this game as well.

I sat myself out of that game. Guess what i did?

Fell asleep. Heh. They took a shot of me. Gosh.

The bridge that brought us to the other side of the island.

The aftermath. After washing and showering, its picture time.

You're supposed to look up at the sign, dee!

Ahhh, much better. *winks*

In the bus, back to mainland. Can really see the difference sey. I look darker ordy. Efny, you tgk betol2 k.

No other pictures were taken after that except for this. Everyone was exhausted. Everyone couldnt be bothered to take pictures. Quit it dee, look at the very last pix dat i took woth sri during dinner at banquet.

Yup. We sure had a very nice outing. Hmm, bila lagi eh kita nak go out again?

Oh ya, rustieboi, i miss ya.

@ 8:15 AM

.mixed.

No t in the mood to type anything for the time being.

@ 7:59 AM

.weather.

Im feeling under the weather.

I accidentally hit my head in the shower.

The cramps are unbearable.

I hate it when i have my mensus.

I supa hate the feeling.

The weather is so good, i wanna slp again.

If ianz didnt msg me dis morning, i'd still be sleeping.

I dun tink i wanna go skul today.

I got requests to do more skins.

I was kidding about the charges but people took it seriously.

I have yet to type out a letter for my prac placement.

I think that pretty much sums out today's events.

Gimme a hug, anyone?
*sobs*

@ 7:00 AM

.spasms.

Before we start on this blog entry, I would like to say that i have a condition of blog spasms. When I feel like blogging, I feel compulsive urges to keep blogging and blogging and blogging until I breathe my last, and this kinda behaviour would go on for maybe a week.And then I stop to take a rest, after which I don't feel like blogging again because I somehow think I can't write as well as before. I can't blog anymore! Until something or someone pisses me off enough, and I am emotionally charged to rant again. Although at this very moment, the cramps are setting in. But i still feel the need to type something out.

Let's start on the proper blog:

School was ok yesterday. Get to sit at the back of the class. Dun get me wrong. Im not the so called kwai girl who sits at the very front all the time. Infact, i asked Ija to proceed to the back since our table was occupied by the lecturer's stuff. We didnt mind. Really.
I always thought that if i get to sit at the back, i would daydream about Hans Isaac. My future bf etc. Surprisingly, i was diligently paying attention to the lecture and was even jotting down notes. How ironic is that? My partner beside me, ija, guess what she was doing?

She was writing a love letter lah ok for her bf. I tink its almost a year that she known her current bf. Which reminded me that im a year single. Already? Time passes so very fast, dun you think? Then again, it got me thinking of my past addiction. Like so long never think of him so i sms-ed him yesterday saying 'Hi' and that very night he gave me a surprising call.
It wasnt surprising at all actually. Considering that he always calls. Ok, not always. Sumtimes. We asked each other well beings. Poor guy. He kips falling sick in camp.
Guess what, im feeling miserable too. Just like the weather. Its raining btw. Ive been coughing, sneezing, blowing my nose and my menstrual cramp is unbearable. Bladdy unbearable. And i dont want to pop in menstrual pills or some sort as i heard that it could sumhow affect you having a child in the future. And i want a child on my own so, no pills. Besides, i hate pills. Yucks.
Ive side trackked a lot. Sheesh. So, my past addiction (just cant bear to type out his name here, duno y) asked me to check his frensta profile and i was like..

'Hello, you deleted me from your list and ur profile can only be viewed by ur contacts. I gave up looking at your profile long ago!'

He denied deleting me of course, which i knew he didnt delete me so he said he wld add me as a contact when he reaches home from camp. How nice.

The ever famous dini turns 5 months today. So big ordy! Imagine, in 7 months time, she will be a year old. Wow! Here's some pictures of her. Hey, i got like 3 mms from the mother in one day! The pictures are super adorable. Its a must show. Although, ive putting up 2 out of 3. Considering that ive exceeded my mms limit. *rolls my eyes*

On a total different matter, i found out this morning that some people could go through a lot of things to get what they want. Recently, i have a dear fren who got her blog hacked by unmentionable people. And who would have thought that the party is one girl who has been quiet about the whole thing all along. That's why they say, jgn sangka clear water no buaya.
Well, dats a mixed term of both english and malay. In other words, looks can be decieving. Gosh. Going through such extremes to get her password to noe abt her life? Wow. She must definitely have all the time in the world to do all that.

That dear fren of mine is controversial, i must admit. She gets misunderstood, she has even been bitched about countless times. She is definitely one hell of a strong individual who laughs off bitchy comments. But then again, one's patience limit can be tested. And sumhow, sumwer, when you are close and very much attached to that person, your patience get tested. That goes without saying. Its get infuriating to see your friends get framed about things they havent done. For goodness sake people! They are trying to live their life here, there you come along, trying to be all stuck up about it and started bitching about them. Like WTF.
Situation can get out of hand for you, but since all are happy with your own life, why aggravate situations. Just live ur life as happy as always. Is that so difficult or do you just have all the thrills and pleasure to ruin people's life. What are you, sum kind of a devil or sumting? I dun mean to be rude here but its just too much. Then again, we all noe that everybody in the world could like you all the time. That's how it goes. Not everybody in singapore can like you. Just like artists. Say Taufik Batisah for example. Not everybody likes him. Sure, you get girls swooning over him but some guys dun like him coz the girls are more crazy about him ratha then them.
So it got me thinking, are they jealous? Is jealousy the cause of the whole situation here? It could probably be. Im not so sure yet, i should investigate more.

To conclude, you either love her or hate her. There's no in between. If you visit her site, respect her views as an individual rebel who gives fresh perspective and life to her readers. If you find her blogs downright disgusting and defamotary in nature, just erase her URL address off your mind. My advice for you is to brush her comments off and laugh along with her fans. There's nothing much you can do unless you really believe your reputation is worth that hassle, trouble and cost of calling a law suit against her brash remarks. Unless of course, you want to set up an anti-CAMELIA blog which I believe the challenge lies in building up your blog-readership statistics. *winks*

p/s- sorry nadya for typing this one out w/o permission.

@ 7:10 AM

.tues.

It was a mixed emotion in skul yesterday. First i finally satisfy my craving of eating chicken sandwich at BK Heard hilarious story of ija meeting her beban that got me laughing and giggling like crazy while walking to skul. Then, i got the whole schedule mixed up.

See, i tot its gona be science lecture but it was a new module on caring for infants and toddlers. Gosh dee!

Lecture was drag and real slow. The lecturer was from thailand, i tink, considering her last name sounds very thailand-ish. But during the lecture, i suddenly considered to care for infants or toddlers. Missed the lil kiddos from the child care centre that i was attached to. Thank god i still have videos of them. *winks*

The moment i stepped out of my school building, i saw fireworks. So me and ija like very jakun like dat, gawking at those beautiful thing. The parental units was also smiling away in the car. Me & Mama tot of going towards the fireworks, but Baba bising2 bout wer to go and all. So i closed the discussion by saying, "Dah, dah. Balik aje. Nari ada DIA." which they both complied. And everybody stays happy.

Memories came flooding in when i saw the fireworks. It was during the chingay period when i went to my calmity pleasure wif my past addiction. He initially wanted to surprise me and watched the fireworks together along Benjamin Sheares. Kira touching ah tu. That got me all silent all the way home from school with the exception on munching crackers that Mama offered me earlier.

Blogger was down earlier this morning so it halted my daily routine of blog reading of people i love and hate. Hate is such a strong word. So, now im gona rephrase my sentence.
.......people i love and lack of love from me to them.
Hee. Funny? I think so too.

So, blog reading was ok. Some posts got me laughing and shaking my head at the same time. Contradicting others when they are gurgling their own vomit? Oh, get a life! *rolls my eyes*

My aunt called earlier. We had our spot check talk bout her life, my life, other aunts life. Nothing new der.

Ryte now, im going bonkers. Im feeling the heat from the assgnmnt which have yet to be done. Somehow, inspiration wasnt der. And it didnt help that i have very little references. Thankfully, ija asked me over to my old centre to finish it up. Ders many references there! Half of the burden off my shoulders. Phheeewww.. After i publish this entry, im off to get ready.

Oh, btw, Happy 27th bdae to my bestest guy fwen, Ratna Suffian.
My personal msg to him- Darlg, u dah tua tau! The wedding bells are ringing non stop. Hehe. Stay happy always k.

Im out.

@ 7:20 AM

.dini.

And.. minutes later, here i am blogging again.

I just wanna share sumting wif ya'll.

Check dis out.

Dats the ever famous princess dini. Hehe. Mentel kan senyum dia. Mcm parents *ehem* dia jugak. *giggles uncontrobally*

@ 5:00 AM

.hate

Im supa starving. Its a lil after 12. And i havent had lunch, let alone breakfast. There's nothing to eat at home. Im too lazy to cook. I dun want to eat Maggi noodles. Two days staright of eating noodles? Yuck. So, i resort to muching chocolate candies. M&M in particular. The one that melts in your mouth, not in your hand. The one that has 20.7 g of fats. Unhealthy food? Well, yea. So? There's nothing to eat at home and i cant possibly starve myself cant i?

Well, i can actually. But i dun want to.

Oh, how very despicable.
I am truthfully surprised at how low some people can go. What has become of mankind - are we all innately kind like what Confucius said? I find that hard to believe.

And you there! You really should stop gurgling your own vomit. It is a really disgusting habit. Yes, I know you enjoy the bubbling sound and all, but well... what? You particularly like green vomit? Oh, you are sick.

Btw, im still munching on m&m candies.

@ 4:40 AM

bitch.

A new trick up her sleeve. She just left.

Oooo.. Bitchiness is in the air.

@ 11:50 AM

.feel.

First of all, my condolences to dearest efny whose grandfather passed on. Be strong darlz.

So, the chingay came and went. Watched it on the telly. Turned dida's offer to go. But, lets just say, im too LAZY to go out. Nothing new there. Ive been too lazy all these while. Suddenly, i cant wait for school to start so that my life would get back to normal. At least, i have skul to keep my mind occupied.

Way back in secondary school, ive gotten into an argument with a fren of mine. We hurled abuses to each other. We hated each other to the core. But at the end of the day, we realised that we cant hate each other. We're friends. So now, im still friends with that particular girl. Meeting up once in a while despite our schedules. And when we looked back, we laughed at the thought everytime the argument comes up.

See, hate is sucha big word. Ive hate a couple of people in my life before.

I used to hate this girl from AM who made my life living hell. And the best part is that, until now, i dun even noe its she's real or just a made up, imaginary person. On to top it all of, 'her' brother is my classmate bf! The world is so small now. I just dont want my classmate to be hurt by that playa. Ok, so i hate the sister and the brother. I hate the brother for dissing my then bf and for hurling expletives at my very own twin sister. I hate the sister for creating fights wif me & my group of friends and also trying to flirt wif my then bf!
Then came this girl who came along and started dissing me thru frensta testimonial. I hate her for doing that. But sumtin seems amiss. The bf of her was my ex bf. So i got the feeling that he wasnt telling the whole of the truth to her. But then, hig gf dumped him! See, KARMA comes back around. And KARMA is spelled K-A-R-M-A ok. This whole thing seems pointless now. I dun want to tok about my ex bf.

So, when i look at the people i Hate, it seems like the people i hate is people i dun even noe. And im not the type of person who hates people with a blink of an eye. These people are the one who aggravates the whole situation. They are the one who starts the fire. I was quiet about the whole thing and what did they do? Start a fight. Like as if they got nothing to do. The situation ended when one stop. And finally they got tired of fighting, they just stop their hatred. And even if they hate each other, they dun do show it. Because they are trying to forget the unpleasant past. And are now happy with their life.

Are you happy wif your life?

If you are, just get on with it. Stay happy. Why aggravate situations? Live your own life. And they will live theirs. Why continue all this nonsense shit?

I had enuf ranting. What a way to spent my Sunday. Off to eat. Im starving.

@ 7:50 AM

.sian.

I feel so sian ryte now.

Suddenly, i duno wat to do. With Ianz offline, i signed myself out frm the MSN coz if i aint chatting wif her, it would be so darn boring.

Ryte now, im bored to tears. Contemplating whether i should go back to my old centre to give my certs to my former supervisor. The best part is i dun noe y she wants my cert. Maybe she's thinking of offering me a post. Well, maybe. I have to give her a call later to cancel. Im too lazy to go out. And i have to call ija to cancel too considering that im too lazy to get my butt out.

As you all know, im jobless. And in total need of a cash. I mean job. If i have a job, at least i can earn my keeps. I can shop and shop and shop. Well, not shop all the time. But once in a while. And i'll even make sure that i save my keeps. Promise. Heh.

Ive been thinking. And now im stating out job possibilities. One of them is becoming a blog skin maker.

Since blogging is the in thing, i'll make blog skin for people and people can buy them. My skills are not that good but im learning. And nowadays people like to have skins with their faces on it so pretty sure it would be selling like hotcakes, dun u tink?

Just think of how much i'll make by selling those skins. Hmmm. Maybe i'll sell a skin for 20 bucks. But people have to pay a deposit of 10 bucks so as they do not cancel their orders. Heh. Clever ryte?

Im ruling out editing pictures for a living. As people can do dat themselves. So, maybe i'll stick to making blog skins.

So far, ive done one skin for my one my dearest. Since she's a close fren of mine, im doin it for free. Hehe. Ive got more offers to do skins for them ryte now, including dida. I offered to do one for ianz but then i was thinking, 'Wah lau, Ianz is my Shi fu. She taught me how to do skins. Of coz, hers is betta ryte?'

Well, dat goes without saying.

Here are some of my works.

.my current skin.

The one dat i did for fun. Might be using it in the next couple of months.

My first try for beloved Nadya.

Theres a difference btwn the first and the second and if you cant see it then you are just plain BLIND.

Im doing a skin for dida. Not today though. Coz ders no inspiration for ryte now. So you just have to wait dida. Same goes to you Ianz.

Besides im sure you undastand that artists like us need inspiration so that our work comes out as tip top. Ryte? :p

So if anyone is interested on getting a skin for urself, you noe who to contact. *winks*

@ 6:55 AM

.thurs.

After four days of not leaving da crib (i dun allow myself to leave home, unnecessarily), i found myself heading to town to mit up wif da ladies whom i have not seen in a while. Not a while actually, it seems like ages since i met up wif dem. Envied the other 3 for having to spent their money by shopping.

Once i asked them, " Ok, sape nak shopping lagi?"

By then, everyone already got sumting for themselves.

Miss Icez replied, "You nye turn ah. You blum buy anything"

Immediately, i turned to her and said, "You nak i, yg tak berkeja ni shopping?"

"Oops" was her reply.

Oops was ryte. I nid a job so badly. But other than picking a bf, i also tend to be real fussy when it comes to finding jobs. It has to be something that matches my qualifications. But then again, it only has to be a KINDERGARTEN teacher. But, i wanna complete my studies first.
I tink i mentioned to many ' buts' here. Lets move on. Picture time!! Not many were taken though.

Me & my best guy fwen.

@ Esteeler.

I love this cute tee. Hee.

I told you that there were not many pictures taken. My sandwich are waiting to be devoured. So till next time, have a good day!

@ 4:20 AM

.lost love.

I was labelled jahat by my very own best fren for ignoring msges from guys who wanted to get to know me. I admit it might be a lil rude to ignore but i just wasnt feeling them. What im trying to say is that i wasnt in the mood to get to noe people. Dun get me wrong, im not dwelling about the past. I ve already decided way back then to leave the past behind. Im sort of active in getting involved in making friends via internet world but.. What im trying to say is that i have many accts in the internet world be it frensta or hi5. I post my pictures in for the sake of posting and i update them on a regular basis. But when it comes to chcking out the msges and seeing many msges from people asking to get to noe u, is like, *yawn* BORING.
The thing is dat, it bores the hell out of me. The same line is used everytime.

"You look very familiar. Can we exchange number?"

WTF. Just coz i look familiar to you, why must i exchange number with you?

Similarly, while chatting on the MSN, this guy i dun even know, asked me to send my display pix to him.

Double WTF.

What gives you the privilege of owning my picture? Your lame response was, its not clear from your view. Just coz its not clear, i should send you my pic. Hell no!

He didnt get my pic though. Me being me, politely told him that its against my principle to give out my pictures to people i dun even noe. That doesnt count the part where people are able to save our pictures at frensta or hi5. He's just not smart enough. *smirks*

This is just guys asking for my pictures. I havent start on them asking for my number. Im so against that. Its totally like giving your number to people on the streets.

So kerepek la ok. Btw, kerepek is my term of merepek. Kerepek is way beyond merepek.

This guy from Hi5 msged me saying that he wants to get to noe me. He even list down his no and ask me to call him. *rolls my eyes*
And at that point of time, another msg came in. A guy asked me whether im married. *frowns*

What is up wif all these people?
and im not proud to say that all events or msges that i listed here is all from yesterday. Not a very good experience to start out for a brand new month! *sigh*

I must say, i am really choosy in picking guys as partners. I noe, i noe. Im just the typical girl who goes for looks and stuff. And the reason im dissing those guys here is not just because they dun have looks. Dun get me worng, sum are quite good looking. But its just that, im not INTERESTED in getting to noe people. Sumhow, i feel that i had enough. More than enough actually. Im contented with the way my life is ryte now. No guys, no heartbreak. Besides, my closest are always der to pick me up whenever i fall. That i will appreciate the most.

Sum things are just meant to be that way..

@ 5:20 AM

.diary.

I used to have a diary back when i was in primary school. Back then, my diary had a lock. Coz it was supposed to be confidential. I curse, i swear in dat diary. No one, and i mean no one is allowed to peep or put their hands on that diary of mine. Dat was way back. Now, blogging seems to have depicts the purposes of diary. Although you still pen ur thoughts, curse and swear by blogging, people ARE allowed to read. Just like how people are reading my blog ryte at this very moment. The very good part of having a diary is that you can rant about sumone you hate or detest the most and that sumone wouldnt even know. But here, you can say all you want to say about that person you hate most and sumhow or someway that particular person will stumble upon it and guess what will happen next? Catfight. Well, usually. Considering that most guy dont usually feel the pinch. It is always the GIRLS feeling the pinch and all. Why? Becoz, 'sape yg mkn cili akan rasa pedasnye..'

In other words, dey have a guilty conscience.

I always tot that blogging is fun! But its not so fun anymore. People are hating each other bcoz of entry written. Though its not about them, but they are the one who felt the pinch.

So now i ask, why read?

Why read the blog when u felt the pinch and then counter when ure doing the entry?

Why? Why? Why?

Its ironic isnt it? When u dun like dat particular sumone, why do you even bother to chck out their blog and invading their privacy? Cant you just keep your itching fingers to urselves and chck out ur FRIENDS blog instead of ur ENEMIES? Why create fire when its already HOT?

Ok, so the last line was made up by me. Heh.

On a serious note once again, these people have already passed their twenties and still they are doing this things. CHILDISH. That's what you are. Grow up will you?

@ 3:40 AM