Thursday, September 14, 2006

sick again..?



Its 11.21am on a Wednesday morning and here i am at home. Im sick. Again. Im just going through the motion. It seems like everyone is sick. This is probably what everyone calls, 'Musim sakit..'

See, during lunch yesterday, i didnt have any appetite so i just had cheese stick for lunch (n dats my only meal for the day, btw). Ija asked y im not eating.

"No appetite" was my reply.

"You're going to be sick." that's her reply.

Lo and behold, during my afternoon class yesterday, my eyes started to water (still m watery now), and i started sneezing. Imagine, im reading a story to the class when my tears started flowing.

"Teacher Diyana, why are you crying..?"

"Im not crying. Something went into my eye and its painful." was my reply.

"Wear spectacles la teacher.." one girl said to me.

So smart my students. They actually wanted me to take out my lenses and put on my glasses. But i didnt bring them yesterday and i had to go back home, watery eyes and all. Everyone was looking at me. At the bus stop. In the bus. They are probably wondering what the hell is wrong with the girl who seems to be sobbing into the tissue and wiping the tear that keeps flowing down my face. Oh well, what do i care..?

You noe what i hate being sick now that im single..?

I hate it now that i dont have a bf to complain to. No one to feel sorry for me and be there for me. I hate it soo much. So at the end of the day, Bestie was the only person i turned to. She heard me whine. She heard me complain. Sorry darlg. You're the one i had to turned to. =)

Speaking of which, Bestie asked if i still loved Amin yesterday?

Honestly speaking, i havent thought of him in the longest time. Maybe i dont love him anymore. Maybe. I dont know. I dont even know what i want right now. Maybe i want to be in a relationship. But i dont want to be in relationship where they are like my rebound relationship kind of thing. I want to be in a relationship where i really love that person and he loves me too and live happily ever after. Which i figure will not be happening anytime soon.

Maybe there is someone out there who loves me and wanna be with me but im just plain delusional. *sigh*

Did i mention that i hate my love life..?

I really do.


@ 2:36 PM