Sunday, October 07, 2007

Love



Its past midnite.

I just finished watching a movie on the lappie.
In my private space aka my room and on the comfort of my bed.

What movie did i just watched..?

The Break Up.

Starring Vince Vaughn and the lovely Jennifer Aniston.

I always thought that movies ALWAYS have a happy ending. The Break Up rather dont. It seems to be left hanging.

Just like how my love life is. Left hanging in mid air.

Btw, just to inform you that this entry is about my sappy love life.

Ready..? If you're not interested feel free to click on the X button at the right hand corner. Thank you very much.

Its been 15 months since i had a boyfriend. Believe it or not.

And my friends around me are kinda pestering me to have one. Guys whom i got to know was shocked when i told them that im single.

Seriously, do i look like a girl who is attached..?

Maybe i should make it clear. I dont look for a man. I dont look for LOVE. I'd rather they come and look for me.

After the misery that i went through (though its very hard to tell coz i rather bear the sufferings myself than potray my dejection to my friends), i put a smile everyday on my face and tell others that, 'Look, im fine w/o a bf".

Whichc is true, most of the time.

Other times, i cant help but envy those blessed in a relationships.
Other times, i keep thinking to myself,

"Is there something wrong with me.?"
"Am i not attractive enough?"

Close friends would beg to differ. The only reason that they will give me is that im just plain CHOOSY.

Which could be true.

Which IS true.

In a guy, i seek for almost perfection.

I want a guy who takes pride in himself, his career, his family and his friends.

I want a guy who knows how to groom himself well.

I want a guy who can gets along well with my friends.

I want a guy who ALSO gets along well with my family.

I want a guy who can drive.

Above all those little things that ive mentioned, i want a guy who LOVES me.

Ahhhh, the L word again.

Ever wondered what is love..?

Love has a lot of definition. ou can use love as verb or noun.

A common definition that you can find of LOVE:
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

For another person...

Ive been in love before. Im sure most of you have been in love before. I can fall in and out of love but there was this one time in my past relationship that i was very sure that im gonna marry this guy.

I got to know him from the internet and he just entered my life.

I fell head over heels in love with him.

His smile, his good looks, his personality, almost everything about him.

I gave him my heart. And he broke it. Twice.

Despite trying to move on, i still werent able to open my heart.

You can say once bitten twice shy.

Yes, i meet people, i go on dates but i have stopped doing all that.

Right now im enjoying being around my friends.

I know that despite not having a bf or whatsoever,

i am being loved.

A confession to make that will make all my friends hating me.

Im STILL in love with HIM.

Yes, the guy who broke my heart twice.

Im still in LOVE with him.

Dont ask me why but i just do.

Letting go of your first love is never easy and time will heal all pain.

Its been nearly 3 years and i still feel the same way.

A close one told me this, To Love Is Not To Own.

Ive pondered over this and realised that its true.

It doesnt mean that you have to OWN or HAVE the one you love.

You can love him with all your heart but not have him.

The most important thing is for HIM to be happy always.

That's all that matters.

Maybe one day, my own happiness will come knocking on my door.

Insyallah.

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find


Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise


Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone


Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line


Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one


@ 12:53 AM