Sunday, January 08, 2006

.skul.



The inspiration to blog is gone. Thus the reason for the lack of updates. Sorry to all dee's readers. Once the brain and mind starts co-flowing in the same direction, the inspiration will come and in one day, there could be 3 entries! But unfortunately, its not gonna happen just yet. Today, the need for blogging came as its sucha pity to leave dis blog stagnant.
So skul starts last wednesday. Just before i went to school, i suddenly had a vomitting attack. My nose started running and i was overcome by giddiness. Suddenly didnt feel like going to school. Excuses. *roll my eyes* But i dragged myself out of bed, took a long hot shower admist the vomitting thingy, dressed and off i went to school. I have a presentation yesterday. Ija panicked a lot before her presentation. But she was so cool when she presented. I was the total opposite. I was so cool before mine. But when i got up der, infront of the class, i was like, "errr, ahhh, err, ahh" Damn. Still need to do sumting bout my self esteem. But, i guess i was just nervous. I dun really get nervous often. I know i have known my classmates for nearly a year but u noe, the jitters is still there. Apart from having a presentation, i get nervous when im wif the one dat i 'LOVE'. Yup. But its been a while since i felt that way. Ever heard of the tortoise and the hare story? Well, im doin just dat. Im in a total slow and steady mode. And im putting my priorities in place. Love is out of my agenda at the moment. Im putting my studies (my diploma & mandarin couse -still looking arnd) and career first. Dee is finally growing up!
The next day, i obliged in following dida in meeting the rest for dinner. Rest as in the other couples and as usual, im the only exception. Im the only 'single' girl around and the rest were couples. Like wats new? *rolls my eyes*
For pictures cLiCk HeRe
Ive a question. Ever have a guy fren but the relationship is only platonic? I do. I stumbled upon someone's blog. She was talking bout platonic relationship.
Quote(from her blog): Platonic friendships do exist between males and females, but they wouldn't be so if one of them doesn't see the other only as a friend, no?
Like her, I cannot be friends with someone who feels something more than what it should be towards me. It's like making use of the friendship as a platform to remain close or whatsoever. In my case, everything is straight forward and clean cut. Nothing in between. Yes, i do love him. But this is the type of love that only exists between friendship. I love him like any other close friends that i have. Not more than that. I just hope that this is clear. I wouldnt want people to think that i have other intentions. That's pretentious and hypocrisy. I detest that. And i wouldnt wanna be sumtin or ratha sumone dat i detest. If i still had feelings for dat sumone, i would have sever all ties wif him altogether coz its totally like, 'i cant stop loving you so i hafta go away as i cant treat u as JUST a friend'. But in my case, ive suceeded in treating him as my fren and fren only. About 2 years have passed. U'd think ive suceeded? Hell yeah. With that out of the question, i jus hope that i dun get people i love talking about me saying that i have affairs whatsoever wif that platonic fren of mine. My conscience is clear. This is also the reason why im severing ties wif ma past addiction. I cannot be frens wif him when i still noe that i have feelings for him. Like i mentioned earlier, that is hypocrisy. And im making use of this closeness in protext of hoping that one day we could go back togetha. Which will never happen. I could lie to my frens but i could not lie to myself. So, i guess, this is the only way out.

I noe this is a lil bit late but last 30 dec, my gfs and i went for dinner at Segar restaurant. The food was yummy! To my gfs who wants the pixs, quit yakking. Just cLicK hErE
Ookie, haf a great weekend people.


@ 7:00 AM