Wednesday, February 15, 2006

valentine.



Conversation hearts, Red Hots, heart-shaped boxes of assorted chocolates and red roses fill the isles and TV sets to prepare us for the most commercially celebrated holiday in the world, Valentine’s Day.
It is a day that has evolved into making a spectacle of love and a fortune for all retailers. Jewelers, florists and Hallmark all benefit yearly from the hopeless romantics that rush out a week, or a day before Valentine’s Day to get their lover a gift.

The idea is both, nauseating and expensive. Why rush to get the one you love chocolates, flowers or diamonds to show how much you care,
when you should show your love every day? News flash people, love really doesn’t have to cost a thing.

I received an sms from a dearest fren telling me about the history of Valentine's Day and what it really mean to Muslims. For muslims, in my opinion, i dun see the need for us to follow western customs, but then again, even muslims are already following various western customs. Im not preaching here bcoz i am not fit to preach, but at the end of the day, its all up to one individuals on what they want to do at this so called 'the day of LOVE'

Putting aside all this preach thing, love is definitely in the air. Regardless whether you want to celebrate it or not. For my case, i have never celebrated Valentine's Day before. Bcoz, to me, if you love sumone, Valentine's day is everyday.

Love, we are repeatedly taught , concists of self sacrifice.Love based on self-interest, we are admonished, is cheap and sordid. True love, we are told, is altruistic. But is it? Imagine a Valentine's Day card which takes this premise seriously. Imagine receiving a card with the following message: "I get no pleasure from your existence. I obtain no personal enjoyment from the way you look, dress, move, act or think. Our relationship profits me not. You satisfy no sexual, emotional or intellectual needs of mine. You're a charity case, and I'm with you only out of pity. Love, XXX."

Needless to say, you would be indignant to learn that you are being "loved," not for anything positive you offer your lover, but--like any recipient of alms--for what you lack. Yet that is the perverse view of love entailed in the belief that it is self-sacrificial.Genuine love is the exact opposite. It is the most selfish experience possible, in the true sense of the term: it benefits your life in a way that involves no sacrifice of others to yourself or of yourself to others.To love a person is selfish because it means that you value that particular person, that he or she makes your life better, that he or she is an intense source of joy--to you. A "disinterested" love is a contradiction in terms. One cannot be neutral to that which one values. The time, effort and money you spend on behalf of someone you love are not sacrifices, but actions taken because his or her happiness is crucially important to your own. Such actions would constitute sacrifices only if they were done for a stranger--or for an enemy. Those who argue that love demands self-denial must hold the bizarre belief that it makes no personal difference whether your loved one is healthy or sick, feels pleasure or pain, is alive or dead.Love is far too precious to be offered indiscriminately. It is above all in the area of love that egalitarianism ought to be repudiated. Love represents an exalted exchange--a spiritual exchange--between two people, for the purpose of mutual benefit.You love someone because he or she is a value--a selfish value to you, as determined by your standards--just as you are a value to him or her.It is the view that you ought to be given love unconditionally--the view that you do not deserve it any more than some random bum, the view that it is not a response to anything particular in you, the view that it is causeless--which exemplifies the most ignoble conception of this sublime experience.The nature of love places certain demands on those who wish to enjoy it. You must regard yourself as worthy of being loved. Those who expect to be loved, not because they offer some positive value, but because they don't--i.e., those who demand love as altruistic duty--are parasites. Someone who says "Love me just because I need it" seeks an unearned spiritual value--in the same way that a thief seeks unearned wealth. To quote a famous line from The Fountainhead: "To say 'I love you,' one must know first how to say the 'I.

I digress.

Im in love. Dun get the wrong idea. Im in love with my family and my closest friends. Family means a lot to me although sumtimes i dun act to show that i love dem. Get it? No? Forget it, just move on.

I love my dad although he makes a lot of mistakes in the past that got the family on our toes. I dun have a close relationship with him and we only speak when neccesary. Despite that, i still love him.

I love Mama although she is unreasonable, selfish and always nagging. Come to tink of it, she is always the one who gets on my nerves all the time. But, i see things positively. Mama gave birth to me, Mama brought me up. Mama took care of me when i was sick. Mama massaged my forehead when i got a major headache. Although, she gets on my toes all the time, i still think of the little things that she did for me way before. I remember once Mama told me off for reading to much. See, i love to read. And she didnt like that. I was dismissing my chores for books. Heck, i even read while eating. Hey, i didnt get a B3 for nuthing for my Os in English, ok. I started getting my priorities ryte. I did my chores before i poke my nose into books. Mama started to understand how much i love books. She even bought books for me when we went holidaying. Back to what i was saying, i still love her all the same despite arguing with her sometimes. And you know what they all say, Syurga terletak di bawah kaki ibu.

I love my elder sister although she is selfish and domineering.

I love Dida although she is very lazy and immature.

I love my lil bro although he is such a jerk sumtimes. Heck, he just called me a bitch. Just. Why? Coz i finished up the ice cream. Hah. But i still love him though. He makes me laugh.

See, i cant possibly hate family members can i even though they step on my toes all the time. To get 6 people stay together, personalities are bound to clash.You just have to deal with it. Coz at the end of the day, they are family. Agree?

Two of my closest friends who see me as their younger sister was beaming like mothers whose child learns how to walk when i announced that im dating someone.

"Its about time." they say.

I guess. It took me almost a year to put my foot down and took a step forward. It was only yesterday when i came up with that decision. And i remained adamant with it.

So. with Valentine's Day going on in a full blast, i may be feeling the heat of love.


@ 9:30 AM